Double dose of kiwi brilliance for your Friday afternoon!
First up, a kiwi with no arms. Kinda weird.
And then an Iraqi song about kiwi fruit! With the musical intro from the Muppet Show!
I don’t think this Friday can get any better!
Double dose of kiwi brilliance for your Friday afternoon!
First up, a kiwi with no arms. Kinda weird.
And then an Iraqi song about kiwi fruit! With the musical intro from the Muppet Show!
I don’t think this Friday can get any better!
Number 8!
The Beatles – ‘Eight Days a Week’ as covered by the Finnish band Hurriganes in 1977. The band’s logo is definitely my next tattoo.
ROCK!
I went here last night after hearing numerous rave reviews about the cuisine being the best Pakistani food this side of Lahore.
As you can see from the video, it’s situated smack-bang in the middle of Whitechapel, East London. Champs-Elysees this ain’t. And with the prices being unbelievably cheap I was expecting plastic seating, fluorescent lighting and mass scowling but was pleasantly surprised to find electric blue neon signage everywhere and bubbling water wall fixtures resembling less a South Asian restaurant and more a Croydon nightclub.
Oh and the food really is incredible. Just ask the people in the queue that snakes out the door. Easily makes my top ten favourite restaurant list.
Go there. Now. And definitely get the lamb chops.
If anyone out there has a similar video with monkeys spinning on segways then I’m very, very interested.
Double dose of Daft Punk for your Friday afternoon!
I love these videos. They’re just so freaking DAFT!
Daft Punk – ‘Da Funk’
Daft Punk – ‘Revolution 909′
(which kind of reminds me of this Sesame Street feature from back in the day)
Dogs. Tomatoes. Crayons. Friday.
Yes.
Half-handed Cloud – ‘Once, Twice, Seven Times a Werewolf’.
One of the greatest song titles of all time, no question.
The singer John Ringhofer is the trombonist for Sufjan Stevens’ Illinoisemakers. When not on tour he lives rent-free in Berkeley California in exchange for his services as a custodian in a church.
10 – 3 = Werewolf.
Think about it.
Saw this film recently and found it very, very good.
People living in New York’s underground train tunnels build makeshift homes out of salvaged material found on the street. Some of the more enterprising residents have even built dwellings containing fully functioning ovens and televisions powered by electricity tapped from the railway.
A sobering watch, but well worth it.
Surprisingly upbeat ending too.
The Muppet Show intro.
In German.
You’ll be interested to learn that the Swedish Chef in the German version of the Muppets is actually Danish.
True fact!
Presumably because in Germany a Swedish Chef merely elicits a disinterested shrug, whereas a Danish chef has audiences throwing their heads back, slapping their thighs and roaring with unbridled laughter. Understandable.
Herewith also the Swedish Chef entry in Wikipedia translated into Swedish Chef-speak.
http://www.tiffman.com/bork.cgi?url=http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Swedish_Chef
Why don’t I have this kind of free time?
This video promises nine minutes which will change our perception of the world around us. Not bad considering it usually takes me fourteen minutes and a bag of gummy cola bottles and white chocolate mice. In the Trocadero.
It seeks to explain why no one saw the credit crunch coming, why we have such difficulty aligning to stop climate change and why we are having to work so hard.
Quite interesting really.
Six!
Or as they say in France:
Six!
This week it’s DJ Shadow – ‘Six Days’ (Remix ft Mos Def)
The music video is directed by Wong Kar Wai, my favourite film director. His films, while visually stunning and usually employing a non-linear narrative, often centre on the themes of unrequited love and the emotional torment of painful memories, which may or may not be your idea of a great night in.
The cinematography is done by Christopher Doyle, my 29th favourite cinematographer, best known for his work on the movie Hero. His trademark is to use bold, intensely saturated colours and unconventional camera angles, both of which are pretty fantastic. He also likes the colour green. A lot.
The recurrence of the numbers 0426 throughout the video is a nod to one of Kar Wai’s more famous films 2046, which is probably one of the greatest ever films made by humans. If your interests include cigarette smoke, time travel, 1960s Hong Kong, and the colour green then this is the movie for you.
Other films of his to check out are Days Of Being Wild, In The Mood For Love and Chungking Express.
Also check the bass drop at 1:36 which sounds like a cow pretending to be a gigantic drill.
Drill.
Drill.
And he’s holding an ice cream!
I don’t think he could be any happier.
Double dose of Japanese pranks for your Friday afternoon!
First up, a guy gets lured into a meeting where everyone around him gets murdered. The hilarity.
Then various people fall unknowingly into very hot water.
Oldest tricks in the book.
Everybody and their cat has heard of Banksy by now.
I still like this story though.
From his book ‘Wall and Piece’:
The following is a diary extract from Lieutenant Colonel Mervin Willett Gonin DSO, who was among the first British soldiers to liberate Bergen-Belsen in 1945.
“I can give no adequate description of the Horror Camp in wich my men and myself were to spend the next month of our lives. It was just a barren wilderness, as bare as a chicken run. Corpses lay everywhere, some in huge piles, sometimes the lay singly or in pairs where they had fallen. It was shortly after the British Red Cross arrived, though it may have no connection, that a very large quantity of lipstick arrived. This was not at all what we men wanted, we were screaming for hundreds and thousands of other things and I don’t know who asked for lipstick. I wish so much that I could discover who did it, it was the action of genius, sheer unadulterated brilliance. I believe nothing did more for these internees than the lipstick. Women lay in bed with no sheets and no nightie but with scarlet red lips, you saw them wandering about with nothing but a blanket over their shoulders, but with scarlet red lips. I saw a woman dead on the post mortem table and clutched in her hand was a piece of lipstick. At last someone had done something to make them individuals again, they were someone, no longer merely the number tattooed on the arm. At last they could take an interest in their appearance. That lipstick started to give them back their humanity.”
Food for thought.
Till about 10 minutes ago this was always going to be ‘I Got 5 On It’ by the Luniz. In the bag.
But then this little gem of a mash-up came along courtesy of Overdub.
Radiohead vs The Dave Brubeck Quartet – ‘Five Step’
And just so we’re all clear on what a mash-up is, please find attached the helpful instructional videofilm.
Mashy.
Wait, there was a guy just standing there, right there, I swear, and now all that’s left is this car!
This website offers helpful phrases in the Inuit language, thereby solving all of your immediate problems.
Apparently ‘I want to go by dogteam’ is ‘Qimuksikkuurumavunga’.
To which a common reply must be ‘Bless you’.
Let’s face it, if I have the opportunity to travel by dogteam, I’m going EVERYWHERE by dogteam, be it the deepest Yukon or Oxford Street.
http://www.realduesouth.net/Nation-InuitLanguage.htm
I’m guessing ‘Qiuliqtunga’ (‘I’m cold’) doesn’t earn you much sympathy either.
Double dose of Keep On Running for your Friday afternoon!
The Spencer Davis Group – ‘Keep On Running’
The singer Steve Winwood could be mistaken for sounding like Ray Charles despite only being 16 and from Birmingham, England.
Subtitles have been added as a courtesy to the hundreds of thousands of readers of this web log from Finland.
And the original version by Jamaican musician Jackie Edwards.
Rockin’.
Irie.
Some of my favourite music at the moment.
Turn the lights down low and turn it urppp.
Joy Orbison (doesn’t he know that there’s also a musician called ROY Orbison? What are the chances!) – ‘Hyph Mngo’
Floating Points – ‘Love Me Like This’
(which samples the mighty Real to Reel – ‘Love Me Like This’)
Martyn – ‘These Words’ (ft dBridge)
It’s all about the piano drop at 3:29.
Space is the place.
I don’t mind telling you that I spent far longer than I originally intended on attempting to change the apostrophe into the correct font at the end of the song title What U Waiting 4 in yesterday’s post.
I’m sure there’s a lesson to be learned here.
Going BACK.
Jungle Brothers – ‘What U Waiting 4′
Just goes to show that all you need to be one of the world’s leading underground DJs that mixes up rare groove, soul and sick, sick West Coast glitch, all in the same minute, is to entertain the crowd by pretending to have 10,000 volts of electricity pass through you during every other song.
Badness.
A more than passing resemblance to Weird Al Yankovic probably doesn’t hurt either.
Double dose of the Cinematic Orchestra for your Friday afternoon!
http://www.cinematicorchestra.com
Get acquainted with the band and check out the photos on the above site. The light and time of day of each picture perfectly fits the sound.
Going to see these guys tonight in Camden. They’re performing with the Heritage Orchestra so should be plenty special!
The Cinematic Orchestra – ‘All That You Give’
The Cinematic Orchestra – ‘To Build A Home’
This is probably one of the best songs I have ever heard.
Enjoy your weekend.
Online jukebox featuring 22 playlists of different musical genres, each containing 22 tracks.
It’s updated regularly by specialist DJs in Amsterdam and streams for free!
Check the HIPHOPNL section for some fresh Dutch heat!
http://www.22tracks.nl/#/nl-hiphop/
It don’t get more hip hop than these track titles:
- Hoek Op (I’m guessing ‘Hook Up’?)
- Wat Et Is (‘What It Is’ perchance?)
- Ja, dat is DenHaag (quite possibly ‘Yes, that is The Hague’, which must be a rap about politely answering tourists’ questions in front of a large map of Holland)
And my favourite:
- Doofpot (Remix)
No idea.
According to Google, ‘de doofpot’ literally means ‘the extinguisher’. Apparently this is a common Dutch response to any kind of scandal that urges everyone to look the other way so that the whole thing is forgotten.
So crank up the Kraantje Pappie and get doofpot ridunkulous. Although after half an hour or so you’ll wonder if it’s actually humanly possible to rap while generating that much phlegm.
Schnap!
3! We’re racing up the chart!
All three songs containing the number 3 in the title come courtesy of the Beastie Boys, of which there are 3 members.
Spookay!
Beastie Boys – ‘In 3’s’
Beastie Boys – ‘Three MCs and One DJ’
Beastie Boys – ‘3 Minute Rule’
Ain’t it grand.
- …and they lived happily ever after.
- …and then I found 20 bucks!
- …and then I puked, and a dog came along and started eating it.
This traditional Iranian dish is apparently a favourite of President Ahmedinejad.
Here’s the recipe.
Double dose of D.I.S.C.O. for your Friday afternoon!
Stay with me.
Unless you’ve been living under a rock, in a cave, or under a rock in a cave, you’ll know that the biggest track of summer 2009 that’s been setting dancefloors alight worldwide from Kansas City to Ipswich is of course Duck Sauce with ‘aNYway’.
And the originators Shalamar with ‘Right In The Socket’.
So old school it seems appropriate that this was apparently uploaded to YouTube straight from VHS.
It was a simpler time.
There’s no denying that all of these pictures are pretty good.
Now it’s easier than ever to pretend you’re a chimp looking through your high school yearbook.
http://www.kopeikingallery.com/exhibitions/view/monkey-portraits
And we continue the climb!
Underworld – ‘Two Months Off’ as revisited by the superbly named, insanely talented Japanese group Vertical Engine.
And just so we’re all on the same page, here’s the original.
Reach for the lasers!
Call it what you want: boogie, boogie funk, modern funk, funkmosphere, squashed funk, LA funk, old school Prince funk, Nintendo funk, whatever name you give it, this sound is retro, timeless and brilliant at the same time.
‘Mobbin’ Thru Busters’ from Dam-Funk’s new album ‘Toeachizown’.
We need more videos like this.
I cannot wait for this!
They’ll probably play ‘Organ Donor’ with a real organ!
Thursday 3 December. The Jazz Cafe, London Town.
If you live outside of the UK it’s probably worth flying over for the night.
http://www.jazzcafelive.com/newsandevents/templates/bookings.aspx?articleid=812&zoneid=3
Check the MySpace for more info on the 9-piece band, Introducing:
Double dose of animal and trampoline magic for your Friday afternoon!
It’s all about the slo-mo action replay.
It’s all about the backflip.
I’m buying a trampoline this weekend. And a walrus.
- Know, appreciate, be grateful for, and use everything you have been given, for at any moment it could be taken away.
- Buy better locks.
It’s the perfect time of the week to launch the all new Wednesday Afternoon Countup!
Brap brap!
Every track featured in the Countup must feature the number of that week in the title. For example, this week’s track must have ‘One’ in the title, next week’s track must have ‘Two’, the week after next week’s track must have ‘Three’, and so on. Excitement and anticipation will therefore build with each consecutive week that passes.
Brap Brap!
Until we reach ‘50 Ways To Leave Your Lover’ by Paul Simon, say. Or even ‘100 Million’ by Birdman!
Brap brap brap!
Or maybe we’ll peak at ‘Seven Seconds’ by Youssou N’Dour and Neneh Cherry.
Brap.
This week: Playgroup – ‘Number One’.
Uber-hip producer Trevor Jackson delivers the biscuits yet again with this effortlessly cool slice of retro disco funk, with a music video that must have been futuristic in 1991.
Just try not to think that it sounds too similar to the decidedly uncool ‘Even If’ by Andy Abraham, the UK’s entry for the Eurovision Song Contest in 2008.
It goes to show that branding is everything.
These recent satellite photos give you a North Korean bird’s-eye view of North Korea.
No one ever told me about the waterslides, beer factory and ostrich farm!
Can we change people’s behaviour by making things more fun to do?
Of course we can, but only if it involves transforming everyday items into giant musical instruments!
Think about how many more people would take the bendy bus if it actually sounded like an accordion as it went round corners!
HAARRRRWWW….HEEEEERRRRRHHHHHH……
Double dose of hip hop for your Friday afternoon – the weekend is only minutes away! And if you’re in Vladivostok, it’s already here!
Mos Def – ‘Quiet Dog Bite Hard’
Vladivostok has to be one of the most satisfying words to say. It’s like saying ‘Woodstock’ with a mouth full of marbles. After waking up from a 15 hour nap.
Q-Tip – ‘Manwomanboogie’
Vladivostok.
Not that I’m a massive fan of the Toy Story dynasty, but the huge advancements in technology in the past few years as evidenced by the near life-like detail shown by the computer animation in this trailer below has convinced me that we are mere decades, if not weeks, from all-out war with cyborgs.
http://www.apple.com/trailers/disney/toystory3/trailer_large.html
Is it a lost Beach Boys b-side that has recently surfaced?
Or a bunch of Williamsburg hipster chancers confusing us all with their clever irony?
Ever notice how the word ’scheduling’ can be so easily misspelt as ’scheudling’?
One minute you think you’ve written a thoroughly business-like and professional title for a timetable, and then you’ve suddenly got yourself something which sounds like an Austrian custard-based dessert or an affectionate German term for a wolf cub.
Danger!
I think a lot more people would visit Tanzania if it was pronounced ‘TAN-ZAY-NIA’!
One of the most embarrassing things you can do on this earth is visit your significant other’s parents’ house for the first time and use the bathroom.
For some cosmic reason, the toilet will, without fail, get irreparably blocked.
So while someone politely knocks on the door and asks if everything’s okay, you stand there, head in your hands, asking yourself why, after only using a few squares of toilet paper, are the waters rising, soon to overflow, swirling with debris and faeces, with no end in sight?
Surprising yourself you spring into action, ripping the porcelain lid off the top, gingerly adjusting various submerged pulley mechanisms and a hollow floating plastic ball (what IS that for?), furiously pumping the strangely weakened flush handle, praying for a miracle or a trapdoor, but the only sound you hear, far from the satisfying gurgle that follows a herculean flush resembling a minature tornado, is that horrifyingly empty belch, telling you that “This water ain’t going nowhere sonny!”
Patiently you claw at your eyes as you wait a thousand years for the cistern to slowly fill again and after repenting on the bathroom rug, you silently pray that this time it WILL flush. You push the handle. Could this be the one? After a second or two the auburn waters and tissue paper start to move, gradually gathering momentum, and YES! IT LOOKS LIKE IT MAY ACTUALLY FLUSH! The swirling waters move faster and faster until, at last, with a choke, it miraculously all disappears down the hatch and the toilet bowl healthily begins to regain its usual level of water. As if having completed a dangerous and perilous journey of the self, you emerge quietly triumphant from the bathroom. Distraught but relieved, having made peace with Armitage Shanks and your forehead beaded with perspiration, a sweaty smile of relief is slapped across your face.
Life is wonderful once more.
Saying the perfect goodbye, heartfelt and sincere, yet pleasant and jovial. Words and well wishes in exactly the right places. Hugs, high waves, all the bests and see you soons. As you turn to depart without looking behind you, you walk directly into someone. Or a lamp-post.
Awkward.
Watching someone genuinely laugh.
Someone responding with an over-exaggerated facial expression of amazement to your story, which up until this point you considered to be only semi-amazing.
Completely agreeing with someone that something is absolutely brilliant.
Sculpting a great business idea and plans for subsequent world domination.
Said plans being scuppered when it transpires that no one has a pen.
Asking a friend whom you haven’t seen in a while ’so how are you doing mate?’ five times in the first four minutes of meeting.
The natural and unforced flow of good conversation.
My white trainers carefully tread the shiny marble floor, the smell of peroxide and scented hair products assaulting my nostrils as funky house blares and spotlights blaze. My guide is a few feet ahead of me, confidently forging a path through this battlefield of aggressive beautification, but I give in to temptation, turn my head sideways to sneak a glance of myself in the mirror, and realise that at this precise moment, with my shampooed hair slicked back over my warm head and me wearing a black gown the size of an 8 man tent, I look like the Emperor of the Dorks.
Everyone’s favourite Somalian/Canadian rapper returns with ‘America’ – near 7 minutes of a lazy shuffling beat with Mos Def and Chali 2na’s baritone so deep your laptop might just vibrate off the table.
And he raps in Somali. It’s too perfect.
My left contact lens had been irritating me all day, so much so that I thought it was going to either pop out of my eye or jiggle its way back into my eye socket and end up somewhere in my nose.
So just when I could take it no longer, I nipped into a side street not far from Great Portland Street tube, and proceeded to perform rogue street surgery and peel the offending lens off my eye, which was followed by a sigh and a slight chuckle of relief, which was then followed by me on my hands and knees squinting at the pavement, having just dropped the lens.
Dirty and beyond repair and out of the warm saline sea of my left eyeball, the lens rapidly started to shrivel into a clear plastic raisin, and I was soon left wearing a contact lens in only one eye.
I thought, how cool is this! I’ve only got one contact lens in, and nobody knows! It’s a secret monocle! I’m the monopoly guy, strolling round London, staying at hotels on Park Lane and passing Go and collecting £200! How completely awesome!
What a day this turned out to be!
I often hear people say, when they’re asked if they want sugar in their tea, “No thanks, I’m sweet enough!”. So whenever anyone asks me if I want milk in my tea, I always want to say “No thanks, I’m white enough!”
I never do though.
So the other day I find myself yet again squatting uncomfortably in the Men’s Grooming aisle in Boots, feeling physically overwhelmed at all of the hair wax products on offer.
I’ve been religiously smearing the top of my head with various pots of fragrant tar for the better part of the last ten years, but have yet to find ‘old faithful’; that one brand of hair wax that never fails to give you a nonchalantly magnificent hairstyle and finds its way into the bathroom cupboard of your heart and never leaves.
It is for this reason that for the last 43 minutes while my crouched legs succumb to the kind of deep vein thrombosis you get from flying direct from Gatwick to Jupiter my eyes flit from brightly coloured plastic pot to brightly coloured plastic pot, like Indiana Jones trying to decide which cup is the holy grail, wondering if THIS TIME, THIS TIME, THIS ONE COULD BE THE ONE.
My main problem with the modern man’s hair wax is that it hardly makes you feel like a man. Just read the label. How can you ever look another man straight in the eye again when they call it ‘Moulding clay’ or ‘Pomade’? Or ‘Putty’? Once you dab your pinky into that pomade and gently smooth it over your right eyebrow, it’s over. All the beard growing, bear wrestling, monster truck rallying, garage door repairing in the world isn’t going to save you now.
What ever happened to hair care for the real man?
The yellowed industrial strength epoxy that dissolves your fingernails the second they enter the tin, scooping out enough to choke a small horse, and sets your hair so solidly that like it or not you’re going to have this hairstyle for the next 11 months, come rain or shine, hairdryer or swimming cap. Dependable and steadfast. Fatihful as the sunrise. The reassuringly heavy-in-your-hand orange tin made out of lead back when it was a good idea, the illustration on the lid of what a successful man in the 1940s should look like, and the clenched teeth of the hairdresser as they wash your hair in the salon basin for the 7th time, yes, this is what all boys’ dreams are made of.
But here I am, a broken man as I drag myself to the counter, clutching a neon green and purple plastic pot that guarantees me ’surf hair’ despite me never having seen a surfboard, risking my life and reputation and £6.95 on some odd-smelling blu-tac in a jar. But maybe, just maybe, this’ll be the one. My winning lottery ticket. With the look THIS ONE will give me, I’ll be the man I’ve always wanted to be! I’ll get that promotion, hit that hole-in-one, and buy that yacht. I could run for president!
Until, that is, 4 months of substandard dissatisfied hairstyling and a slighty greasy empty pot later, I’m back, squatting uncomfortably in the Men’s Grooming aisle in Boots, running my hands through my hair and frayed with indecision, muttering that it was never meant to be like this.
This website examines the North Korean capital’s subway system in great detail.
Miserable teenagers write quite the toe-tapping little ditty and then perform it with all the emotion and enthusiasm of asthmatic mice to critical acclaim.
Their formula for success? Try to look like you’re not even trying.
Still a good song though.
Nobody brought the pain like Foghorn Leghorn when he got cranky.
Spectacularly crafted putdowns and mad crazy snaps so effortlessly wheeled out on a regular basis verbally destroying anyone who dared question his authority.
Although it’s mildly unsettling when after a while you realise he’s a chicken with fully functioning hands and arms.
Who knew that Nigeria has a US$250 million movie industry, churning out some 200 videos for the home video market every month?
Not I. Until now.
In terms of the number of films produced per year it is the second largest movie industry in the world!
True fact!
One such gem is Baby Police 2.
Check out this trailer for Nigeria’s answer to Dirty Harry. It’s the gunshots/thunderclaps every 3 seconds which makes it a must-see. And at 0:43 when he jumps out of the suitcase!
Oddly hypnotic. You’ll play with it for longer than you think you would.
Breezy soul-flecked pop straight outta the Californian paradise known as Canada.
Laid back like Saskatchewan.
This was probably the shortlist before they went with ‘Ocean’.
Hey ________!
- Mister
- Scumbag
- Jerkface
- Arnold
- Hey We’re The Monkees
Like The Postal Service jamming with an affable softly-spoken robot and his robotic coffee percolator friend.
And there’s even an ode to Seattle! Check the Puget Sound shout out.